On the grapevine



 Sir Alex Ferguson


“That lad must have been born offside.”
Sir Alex Ferguson on AC Milan’s Filippo Inzaghi.
“Sometimes you have a noisy neighbour. You cannot do anything about that. They will always be noisy. You just have to get on with your life, put your television on and turn it up a bit louder.”
Speaking about the rapid rise of the blue half of Manchester, arch rivals City.

Bill Shankly


“Someone said to me ‘To you football is a matter of life or death!’ and I said ‘Listen, it’s more important than that’.”

An interview on a Granada Television chat-show, hosted by Shelley Rohde on Wednesday 20th of May 1981.

Brian Clough


“We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right.”

England’s manager that never was on letting the playing staff at his club know who’s boss.


“If God had meant football to be played in the air he would have put grass in the sky”

David Beckham


When asked whether he was a ‘volatile’ player.

“Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.”

Eric Cantona


“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think that sardines will be thrown into the sea.”

The Frenchman’s only comment to journalists waiting for him after the infamous “Kung-Fu kick ” attack on a Crystal Palace supporter in January 1995.

Ian Holloway


On the ugly win over Chesterfield:

“To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, you’ve done what you set out to do. We didn’t look our best today but we pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks she’s not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let’s have coffee.”


On Cristiano Ronaldo:

“He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.”

John Motson


“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.”

Jose Mourinho


“Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.”

Upon becoming Chelsea’s new manager in 2004.

Peter Crouch


Reporter: “What would you be if you weren’t a footballer?”

Crouch: “A virgin.”

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Zlatan Ibrahimović

When offered a trial with Arsenal as an unknown sixteen year-old, the flamboyant Swedish forward was quick to snub Arsene Wenger’s invitation.

“No way, Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s